More Koolaid, Please

So, the rest of my family was gone, and it should have been close to the best weekend ever, but sadly, it was very normal. Busy, too, which is the opposite of what I would have preferred it to be.

Thursday, I went to UWEC to visit with George and walk around campus, and I absolutely loved it. My mom asked all the formal questions about classes and tuition and dorms, and I just walked around and absorbed it all. I've been on campus before, but to see it during the day when there are students and classes and things going on was sooo cool. I can definitely see myself there, and my mom really liked it too, so that's a good sign. It made me think more about the specifics of what I want to study (like it wasn't totally set before...) and I think I'm leaning towards Spanish education now. The high school english thing is fairly boring, so my options would be to go into that and teach it so it's more exciting, or go into Spanish, which is already exciting, and just go with the flow. Decisions, decisions. Still two years left to think about this Allison, let's remain calm. Another highlight of the EC trip was picking up all my "I Am Loved" pins, and I'm super excited to give them out. I love mine, and I hope other people like them, too.
On Friday, I went canvassing for 2 hours in the rain, and that wasn't really the most pleasant experience. Thankfully, only 6 people were home for me to talk to, so the really uncomfortable fear of being bitched out or murdered was somewhat diminished. After that, though, Matt and I watched Pirates of the Caribbean, and that was a pretty good time, so the bad morning wasn't so much of an issue anymore. Strange how certain people make the bad times dissapear. ;)
Saturday was phone banking, which I never want to do again (thanks to a mean horrible man that hurt my feelings) and then Abrielle's party. I was going in as somewhat of an outsider (or at least feeling like one) because I'm not exactly in with that crowd, but I liked my costume and there were some really entertaining people there, so it was fun. I like Halloween, although I do wish that it didn't get any less fun as I got older. At least with Christmas, there's still anticipation and a love of the season, even though the thrill of Santa is gone. Halloween, though, seems to fade away when trick-or-treating does. How sad.
Today, Halloween, was much less than eventful, besides the fact that Lola made brownies. I love brownies. It's the simple things, ya know? The little trick-or-treaters were adorable, and I colored some lovely cheek cell diagrams, but other than that it was pretty low-key. That's ok, though, what else are Sundays for?
Well, the time change has me all disoriented, and I have a fairly long day ahead of me, so it's about time to sign off. Goodnight, and Happy Halloween!

I tried to put this in my info but it didn't quite fit. Sad, but so...honest.


Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

I should really go to sleep. Not because I'm all that tired, but because I just want this day to be over. Excuse me while I take this entry to vent.

1.) It all started last night, really, when I nearly lost some fingers and toes to frostbite. I hate being cold--it's dangerous and it's pretty much inevitable no matter where I am or what I'm wearing. It was raining, and cold, and I was just in a fairly bad mood. It was also a close game, not ending in our favor, and then I had to drive home afterwards in tercherous conditions, all the while fearing not so much for my life, but for the lives all of my passangers.

2.) My sister is my brother's confirmation sponsor. He never even mentioned it to me, and for some reason I feel like she gets to stand up in his wedding and I don't, or something important like that. I really shouldn't even care, because since when have I been Miss Devout Catholic, but still, it sort of hurt my feelings. Have a failed him as a big sister and role model?! What in GOD'S name is going on here?!

3.) All day, I wanted nothing more than to sleep. Ok well, and to cry a couple times. Nothing went wrong even and I was just tired and groggy and sad and I wanted to go home. Actually, there was one factor that was slightly bringing me down. I wanted to give someone a hug. Someone I shouldn't care about. Someone who didn't give me any support when I needed it. Sometimes it would be a lot easier if there was someone around to just tell me how to handle things. Because I'm obviously not too smooth when it comes to doing that on my own.

I did have a really fun night, I must say. As sad as it is to admit, I had forgotten what it's like to just...hang out with the girls. I've been doing that since the end of the summer and I'm still basking in the glow of amazingly good friends. Thank goodness for that. Kylyn even drew me a lovely little comic today, to brighten up my otherwise gloomy day.
After the really fun night, however, I have returned home to find myself still in a somewhat blue mood, and the reason of that is undetermined. Blah. Do you think it's possible for me to get any whinier?

To end on a slightly brighter note, I get to go to UWEC tomorrow and visit George! I'm really excited to walk around campus a little bit and see what the atmosphere is like when school is in session. I already loved the campus during the summer, and hopefully when students are actually occupying it, I'll like it even more. We are also going to try and track down a bajillion more "I Am Loved" pins, so I can pass on and share the warm fuzzy feeling that I experience everytime I wear mine! Hooray for cool pins.

Ay. Let's hope for a better tomorrow, and a hella good Halloween weekend. Goodnight!

It feels like there should be snow on the ground, and that it should be just a little closer to Christmas than it really is. Halloween isn't even for another week, but for some reason I keep looking outside, expecting/hoping to see snow. The weird thing? I hate snow. Actually, I think it's beautiful and I love to watch it fall, but it's cold, and therefore, I hate it. I was thinking not too long ago about Wisconsin, and how lucky us Wisconsinites are to live here. It may seem fairly sucky at times, but if you think about it, we are one state out of a select few that actually has four real seasons. If we lived in Florida, wouldn't it eventually get boring, living with only one season? Of course it would be hot and sunny all the time, but wouldn't you eventually crave jumping in leaves and making snow angels? I'm pretty sure I would, because something about the seasons changing is exciting; like it's possible for so much more to change as well.

Today seems like a day for thinking. Not really thinking about math (which unfortunately I have to do) or anything like that, but more just pondering things that otherwise can't find time to be thought about. Or things that you think about all the time, but should only really think about on lazy Sundays such as this, when you actually have time to be thinking about them. Is anyone else thinking today? Feel free to share.

I really don't have much to say today. The Four Seasons Revelation was all I really had to share. I have to do some homework and run some erands, and now I'm sitting here blogging and listening to music I haven't heard in ages. (Jump. Bounce. Down. Up. Jump, Bounce, Up, Down. Whoo hoo for System of a Down. And what about All American Rejects? I forgot how good that stuff was.) Well, sorry for taking that time to bore you, maybe I'll think of something better to share later. Time to eat some soup. ;)

It might be related to the fact that I have been going to sleep much too late for the past couple weeks. It might also be related to the fact that I keep missing school and then working on my own to catch up (which just sort of hurts your brain sometimes, you know?). Ugh. Politics is taking over my life. After Nov. 2nd I'll actually have to attend all my classes everyday! (Unless Jorge el horible is reelected, then I'll miss the 3rd as well. We all mourn in our own ways.)
It's been too many days since my last entry, so I have to look back and see what's happened since then. Let's see.

Ah ha. I left off with the spectacular night of JK. That means that I have yet to write about Betty Crocker Day! And it was super. Good cookies, very cold/windy/yet fun maze of corn, delicious hot chocolate, and great conversation. Wonderful. ;)

Sunday was as Sundays should be; very lazy. That's all I have to say about that.

I think that all the Junior Girls madness is sorted out, and thank goodness for that. Hopefully on Friday there will be reason to celebrate (hint hint)- the girls need a weekend to kick it up and be happy. HOORAY FOR MY DRESS ARRIVING! It's so perfect and I'm very relieved.

Elizabeth Edwards shook my hand AND signed my shirt today. She also told me that the young women of this country will decide our future. Word. She was really nice and down to earth, and I'm glad I got to meet her. The rally wasn't too big, but it was still as exciting as all the other events. Am I being obnoxious in my Kerry/Edwards support? For some reason today I was extremely irritated by all the Republican folk and was feeling guilty about that. Normal? Abnormal? HAVE I GONE TOO FAR?! Ay caramba.

Last football game tomorrow night, and the weather's supposed to be fantastic, so yay for that. Plus, Thursdays are usually good for me because that means it's almost Friday, and I'm all about Fridays. Hope you have a good one. ;)

John Kerry is my hero. I am not even close to kidding. Tonight was like the best night of my life. Let me make a list in order to relive some of it for you:

1. I got to bond with some super cool people. New friends, yay. The trips both to Appleton and back were a ton of fun, and the naps I was planning on taking didn't really happen because I was too busy chatting it up. They were also all very supportive of me and my lack of contact with JK, and that made me feel so darn special. (I would expand on the lack of contact incident, but it's still a little painful.)

2. I stood about 2.5 people behind the gates, and I can't really even believe how close I was to him. At some points, tall people held up signs that unfortunately were not transparent, but for the most part I had a great view and got some super awesome pictures.

3. The minute the man started speaking, I cried. Tears of joy. I love him. I trust John Kerry to run this country and make decisions that will affect my future, and I cannot even begin to explain how much I wish I could vote and help make that possible. I hope that those who CAN vote are informed and have not only themselves, but the younger generations in mind. Everything about him makes me feel optimistic about the direction America could go in, and I want more than anything for that to be the outcome of Nov. 2nd's election.

4. There was confetti. A lot of confetti. Isn't that just one of those things that makes you happy? If it isn't, it certainly should be.

So yes, overall, the night of October 15th totally rocked Allison's world.

Thanks to Kylyn for today's title; she wasn't talking about John Kerry when it was said, but it was a happy moment just the same, and I thought it blended well with the rest of the day. What a week. I guess it wasn't too bad that I didn't make it to SPASH tonight, it's really difficult for me to not go, being a loyal fan and all, but from the report I got, it wasn't very pretty. JK was TOTALLY worth it too, so it wasn't really much of a loss at all. The bio test went well as far as I'm concerned, too, so I'm ready to have a great weekend. A little bit of homework, but nothing extreme to do, so it should be relaxing. (Not to mention that tomorrow is BETTY CROCKER DAY, and I couldn't be more excited. The weather forecast isn't looking very pleasant, but some serious corn mazing has to take place, so I better find my snowpants.)

Have a great weekend, ya'll. ;)

I'M GOING TO SEE JOHN KERRY TOMORROW!!! YAY!!!




I'm having trouble containing my excitment. Just wait until tomorrow. ;)

Ay caramba. Pienso que hoy, todos deben leer un diario en español, por que español es muy divertido. Después de lees, que comprenderías. Lo siento por todos de los errores, pero no sé que hablar español perfectamente, así cuando traduces, es muy posible que tú no comprederías que escribí.
Tomé los PSATs esta mañana, y no eran muy dificil. Pensé que los matematicas era facil, y eso es muy extraño, por que no me gusta los matematicas; yo prefiero inglés, y esa parté era más dificil. Espero que los resultados sería bueno.
Mañana, votamos por los colores y el canción de Muchachas Menores, y soy un poco nerviosa. Espero que me gustan los resultados, pero esos cosas no tienen la mayoría de importancia. Pienso que sabes que es. Y pienso que él tiene un nombre.

Es no muy facil escribir en español, y pienso que escribí bastante.

OH! En vienes, JOHN KERRY es va estar en APPLETON. Y yo decidí ir y veo él, y no voy al partido del fútbol americano a SPASH. Quieré ir al partido después de JK, pero voy a montar el autobús. Es no el partido último, así es no el fin del mundo. ;) ME AMO JOHN KERRY!

Es todo para esta noche. ¡Buenos noches!

I can't stop listening to this. I'm addicted. I LOVE THIS SONG. It's just so sweet and wonderful and I've been listening to it on repeat since Thursday. Ever heard of Marc Broussard? I hadn't either. But he's incredible.

First of all, I just realized that I haven't written an entry since the debate on Saturday, and, well, it is totally necessary to do so. I was very impressed with the Feingold-Michels debate, and the whole experience was pretty awesome. There was a rally for Senator Feingold about an hour before the debate began, and we got to welcome him, so that was super fun. It was a little chilly, but that was in no way stopping anyone from being out there. I made a really cool shirt too, with the Standing Up for US logo on it, so I actually felt like part of the crazy gang that goes out of their way to be supportive. It feels good to be part of something new like that. I won't go into detail, but basically Feingold OWNED Tim Michels, so it was a good night and some celebrating was extremely necessary. After the debate I went with Asha, Caroline, Josh, and Laura to Something's Brewing, and hung out for a bit before calling it a night. An early night, but there were important things to do at home. People to talk to, and stuff. ;)

Tutoring started today. It's different than last year, and I have to work with Megan, this horrible little brat of a child who I was SO glad I didn't have to work with last year. That is incredibly mean of me to say, but you haven't met this girl. You would agree with me, I can assure you. Oh well, we'll probably change assignments in the next couple weeks because of a new program they're trying, so I shouldn't have to put up with her for long. Until then, though, wish me luck.

I HAVE NO HOMEWORK TONIGHT! AND EVERWOOD IS ON! HOORAY!

Time to eat and then continue being lazy. Catch ya later. ;)

It's October 9th, and what does that mean? DISCOVER SOMETHING NEW! IT'S LEIF ERICKSON DAY! And hey, if you think that's cool, just wait until next Saturday...

So this week was good. I love good weeks. It's nice to get home from school on Friday, eat pudding, and feel like you've actually accomplished something in the past 7 days. This week was a little bit long, but I made it through all the tests (A's on all three, time to celebrate. Is Allison getting smarter? That would be super cool.) and am still on the right track so far this year. I've discovered this week that Mr. Rebhahn talks to himself, that maybe it's not horrible to order clothes online, and that really little things can sometimes mean a lot.

Is there anyone who doesn't know that I found my Junior Girls dress? I think I've probably told every possible person there is to tell. It's so pretty, and everything is going to be so amazing. I was realizing tonight how very cool it's all going to be, and January 8th seems to get further and further away. We vote for colors and song on Thursday, and from there on we can start planning decorations, music, food, etc. Yay. How exciting. Any color/song suggestions? The deadline to turn them in isn't until Tuesday, girls, so make sure if you have an idea you make it heard. The more choices, the better! ;)

I worked at Democratic Headquarters for a few hours on Thursday, and it was so cool. I'm SO glad that I am involved with this, and that I went out of my comfort zone to participate, because this is such an incredible thing to be involved with. Maybe some people feel that my work with this will not affect the Kerry campaign, but I beg to differ. If J.K. is elected, I will be very proud to know that I contributed, and I'll have a much better sense of the behind-the-scenes events and how political campaigns operate. I'm also glad that Wausau East Night at the Headquarters coincided with The G.W.B. visit, because I got to meet some pretty wacky protestors and hear a couple good stories. Just for the record, I'm very happy that all of my Republican amigos enjoyed the rally and got to see their president, especially Rachel, because if it weren't for the rally, she wouldn't have met Mr. SSA. ;)

At the moment, I'm dozing off, and those are all of the urgent things that were on my mind, so I'm calling it a night.

Hasta luego. ;)

Thanks for the title, Rachel T. And for the theme of the post, actually. I have just realized that this is the time of my life when I can be almost as stupid as I want, and it doesn't matter. As long as I don't get in trouble with the police, do drugs, or drink, I can be as stupid and have as much fun as I want, and it doesn't matter. I have been wasting so much time caring about what guidelines to follow and how I look when I'm enjoying myself, that I have completely disreguarded the fact that I've been insanely bored and that I never actually get around to the fun stuff. That's stopping right about here. I mean, what have I got to lose? Take some risks. Laugh at just about EVERYTHING. Make dumb jokes. Tell people how I feel about them. Pursue dreams I've been putting off. Whew. Don't you just want to go out and LIVE now? I sure do, because I can't think of many things that are more exciting than those. Real life, in some ways, has already hit me hard, but I still have plenty of mistakes to make and lessons to learn, and if I don't lighten up, it won't get any easier.

Today Rachel and I went up to the hospital to visit Jayson, just as an attempt to make him smile and give him a lovely get well soon card, and in the card, we signed it, "LOVE, Rachel and Allison." On the way home Rachel was talking about how silly it was that we wrote that, and thus the very cool quote came about. And I thought, exactly. We are teenage girls and this is the best place in the world to be right now. In this car with such a good friend, being silly and LIVING. Doing what we want to do, because, well, it's just what floats our boats. ;)

A lot of things don't work out. And a lot of things make me worry a lot more than necessary. And yes, a lot of things make me sad. But today was great, and I want great to happen a lot more often. I want HAPPY to be a very regular thing. And not just lowercase happy, but HAPPY, for real. Go ahead, Mr./Mrs. Anonymous. Judge the way I live and the way I feel, and be proud of yourself for getting away with what you wrote. I dare you, go ahead and feel good about that, because I'll have you know right here, right now, that I am who I am, and I love that. And apparantly, I'm not the only one.

If I start getting unhappy again, just smack me or something, ok? I'm not a supporter of violence, but I support stupid mood swings even less. Thanks. Love you all. ;)

I'd like to respond to a comment left on my latest entry. Basically, there is no reason for me to explain myself. I write what I do because it's what I feel and because writing is one of my greatest outlets. If you have something against me, or against what I choose to say on here, then don't read it, much less leave a comment like that. If you have some issue with it that you cannot possibly keep to yourself, then contact me and I'd be more than happy to sit down and discuss it with you. (Really, I would. Especially that one. I don't want to fight about it by any means, but I'm very interested in responding to a couple of the things you said.) Many of the things written were both untrue and offensive, and that's not what I do this for. I'm doing the best I can, and I'm not sure who made you one to judge that.

I appreciate the opinions of others, but come on. Please bring it directly to me, or keep it to yourself.

Thanks.

My oh my. Never before have I been this glad that it's Friday. I get to sleep in tomorrow! (Or today, technically, considering it's after midnight...) YAY! All day today I struggled to stay awake, and the nap I finally got to take at 4:00 was wonderful. I wouldn't have made it through this crazy night, otherwise.

First of all, the weather today sucked. It rained from about noon on, and the temperature was only somewhere around 40 degrees. Yuck. It made for quite an interesting and very very cold football game! It was sort of cheap that 1.) the game was non-conference, so the other team had about 4 fans, and 2.) it had to be raining so hard, keeping a lot of people at home. The Fan Van made it there though, and we braved the wind, cold, and rain, to watch those boys beat LaCrosse 34-0. Hooray for them. I do like football, but those harsh conditions were pushing my limits just a tiny bit. Hopefully the rain sticks to days other than Fridays for the rest of the season.

The dance was super fun. Our school really needs to have more casual dances, because they're so much fun AND dancing is good exercise! Overall, it was a good time, and it made me even more excited for Junior Girls. Junior Girls. AHH. It's really hard not to be thinking about that all the time, as far as who I'm going to ask. There's a list of potential dates, but it would help if they didn't have girlfriends or were somewhat interested in dancing (or somewhat interested in me wouldn't hurt, either). January is pretty far away, still, but I think it's a pretty normal thing to be freaked out about. I'm an officer, too, so how bad would it look if I didn't have a date? I guess we'll see. (Interested? I think you can figure out where to find me...haha) ;)

George W. Bush is coming to Wausau. Ugh. Especially with Young Dems this year, I'm feeling a sense of unity with those that think like me, which in turn creates an even bigger need for me to get out there and preach the idiocy of Mr. Bush and the benefits of having Mr. Kerry as president. I cannot vote yet. And that is really hard to accept, but the most I can do is campaign and encourage people to be informed. I will be extremely upset if G.W.B. is re-elected, but I'd be even more upset if I hadn't done anything at all to prevent it. There's not much of a difference I can make, but it never hurts to try and to contribute.

I am so grumpy, and I apologize to anyone who I have annoyed or pissed off this week. I'm sure there are plenty of you. I don't know for sure what's up lately, but this is probably the most stressed I have EVER been, and the abnormal stress level is creating all types of different emotions and mood swings. So I'm sorry, I really am, and I'm working on being happier and nicer and all that great stuff.

That important phone call turned into an e-mail, by the way, and no reply yet. Oh how I want a reply, any kind would be fine, as long as there is one. I refuse to worry about it, but hopefully things works themselves out. That's all for me tonight; it's time I make like a banana and split.

Goodnight ;)