More Koolaid, Please

Yes. I suppose you could say that was the theme of last evening's Halloween costume. My mother's reaction? "Well, I suppose you could label that sacrilegious." Oh, the joys of celebrating Halloween. This entry's title was actually printed on a pair of underwear that I found this summer during the "panty toss." It's a downright shame that I passed them up...

So this feeling is new. (New subject, now, not still talking about underwear...) There was a time when I thought I knew what I was talking about. I was happy and joyful and everything was perfect. That was not even comparable to this. Mostly, because that wasn't even close to perfect, and THIS is. But, you know. I've been spending a lot of my weekend doing nothing but thinking about this, and I am absolutely giddy. Oh, how long I've waited for it to finally be Sunday. Hopefully there will be at least a little bit of relief.

Finally this evening, I love little kids oh so much. (I bet you didn't already know that!) This morning I had a BLAST babysitting for the most entertaining first-grader ever, had a good time with my Little Sister, and saw a baby in a banana costume. It just doesn't get much better than that.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE!!

I just wrote an entire entry and decided to erase it and write something new. Something not so peppy and post Laugh-In. (Which I LOVE. Absolutely love.)

Somedays I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I wake up, do what I have to do, and go back to sleep. School, rehearsal, friends, everything. Occasionally it just feels like I'm doing what I know I have to do, just to get by. Saying the right things at the right times to maintain this image of who I am. Ever think about that? Ever have those days? It never really stops. Life keeps going, QUICKLY, no matter what happens. Obvious, I know. But it makes my head spin.

The people you're nice to, the people who are nice to you. Why are you nice to them, and vice versa? Is it because you're nice, or because you want them to think you are? Do you talk about them when they aren't there? Or do you wish you could talk to them everytime they're not around? Maybe you wish you could talk to them even when they're sitting right next to you.


"At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important that it's happily ever after, just that it's happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in a while, people may even take your breath away." -Grey's Anatomy

(Does that apply? Maybe. Maybe not. You can decide.)

And rightfuly so, as it IS Saturday. The past few certainly have felt a little week-dayish. But today I slept in, got all my chores done, wathed some TV, and enjoyed the day. And it's not even over yet! Only 5:15, and I'm starting to search for something else to do.

High school is a mess. OUR high school is a mess. Last year, I was happy to be in a the new school, and I tried to disregard the little changes. This year is totally different. Everything about it is driving me crazy. The building, the administration, the rules, everything. Although there were some things about Homecoming that were a good time, like Wausau Eve and the Games Assembly, so much it was over-competitive, unfair, and just plain different. Never before has Homecoming been so negative for so many people. It was a dissapointing way to end my high school Homecoming career, but I'm glad that there were still a few highlights. The game was an absolutely splendid time, and the dance was decent, and the sleep I got afterwards was beautiful. Good job to all the seniors for hanging in there and working so hard, the turnout this year was 16 times better than any other year, and the results showed that. I hope you're all proud of what you accomplished, regardless of who won the spirit trophy. I'd like to give a special shout out to Mrs. Woller, who talked me through my anxieties yesterday. The rest of the day would have been much worse if it wouldn't have been for that.

On a much happier note, I AM MUCH HAPPIER! Everything else has been working out--rehearsal is going well, school isn't too bad, and there's this one guy I know who constantly makes me smile. Not only that, but I HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED TO DRAKE! Oh, the excitement. I think very often about how hard it might possibly be to move that far away, but I am relieved that now it's definitely an option, if nothing else. We'll see what happens with UWEC, and then then it will be hardcore decision-making time.

So, my parents are out of town, my siblings are out for the day, and I've accomplished quite a bit today. A mental health day was completely necessary. And with that, on to next week! May it be much better than this one!

I like October, though, so it's ok. Everything is so beautiful here in Wisconsin all year round, but especially this month. October and late December-ish have it good. They get to be the prettiest months of the year. I wonder if the other ones are jealous.

And with that, it's safe to say that the "dad jokes" are becoming all too frequent. I thought I was supposed to turn into my mother...

Homecoming week. Ay. Rehearsal and homework on top of that, not to mention debate. Homecoming has been my driving passion for most of high school, and this year I've been dissapointed in my ability to participate. I've done all I've been able to, but I don't feel like it's enough. I am so happy that so many other people are helping, as that's what our class has really needed all along. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE THIS WEEK. And I want it to be 406% successful. I just wish I could do a little more.

This weekend, though, I was too busy debating to be of much help. Yes, my very first debate tournament. Friday night was terrible. I almost cried and REALLY didn't want to go back on today. REALLY. I was nauseously dreading it. But, everything went much better this time around, and we QUALIFIED FOR STATE. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you read that right. Even though I'm still not really liking debate, I am very happy that we were soooo successful today. Our team went 5-1, which is magnificent, and I did pretty well on speaker points (as did the rest of the team, hooray for speaker trophies!). I can only hope that from this point on things get a little easier and a little less dreadful.

So with that, I am off to bed before this massively insane week begins. Too much tiredness to fit into only a little bit of sleep. But, hey, that's life.

Oh, and by the way, you have DASHING sense of style. ;)