Saturday, August 27, 2005
8 days left
Ok. It can't be avoided. It is time to write the totally cliche blog entry about becoming a senior. Just inevitable. I mean, really. Just no way around it.
Last night was my LAST first football game. Oh goodness. There will be a lot of lasts this year. Most of them bittersweet. (There is a little bug flying around my head and it won't go away. Are bugs irritating on purpose?) I am extremely excited that the football season has started, as my high school career has resulted in a whole new world of football fanness, and even though we didn't come out with a victory, I know the secret plan. Not only am I a fan, but I am TOTALLY on to your strategy, guys. I'll keep the secret safe. Don't worry.
On a much deeper note, high school has transformed me. Not only the education, of course, but everything that comes with living and breathing teenage drama for (at least) 180 days of the year. Now, I know this coming year still has great potential to change me, and I'm actually hoping it will. But my experiences thus far, both inside and outside of Wausau East, have determined so much of who I am and so much that will be with me forever. Some of it, I'm extremely proud of, and some of it, well, I'm not. What would high school be, though, without a little bit of both? The past three years have taught me that EVERYONE has a few skeletons in their closet. No one is perfect, and everyone should be PROUD of that. Proud to be whoever they are, flaws and all. The reason that this is important, and being written about now instead of at the end of the year, is because these are the last nine months that we all have to influence each other. We may graduate and never see one another again, but these days are crucial when it comes to making someone feel important, motivating someone to succeed, or making sure people know how much they mean to you. Not only that, but having the opportunity to BE motivated, MADE to feel important, or told how much you've meant to your peers. We leave this place not so much with four years of math, or four years of english, but with four years of character, lessons learned, and struggles overcome. Four years of practice for bigger things to come.
So this year, SENIORS, be that person you want to be. Leave your mark. Make a difference. Make each second count. Because a year from now, we'll have to rely on that person we have become to carry us into the real world. The best of luck to you all, and most importantly, ENJOY IT!
Last night was my LAST first football game. Oh goodness. There will be a lot of lasts this year. Most of them bittersweet. (There is a little bug flying around my head and it won't go away. Are bugs irritating on purpose?) I am extremely excited that the football season has started, as my high school career has resulted in a whole new world of football fanness, and even though we didn't come out with a victory, I know the secret plan. Not only am I a fan, but I am TOTALLY on to your strategy, guys. I'll keep the secret safe. Don't worry.
On a much deeper note, high school has transformed me. Not only the education, of course, but everything that comes with living and breathing teenage drama for (at least) 180 days of the year. Now, I know this coming year still has great potential to change me, and I'm actually hoping it will. But my experiences thus far, both inside and outside of Wausau East, have determined so much of who I am and so much that will be with me forever. Some of it, I'm extremely proud of, and some of it, well, I'm not. What would high school be, though, without a little bit of both? The past three years have taught me that EVERYONE has a few skeletons in their closet. No one is perfect, and everyone should be PROUD of that. Proud to be whoever they are, flaws and all. The reason that this is important, and being written about now instead of at the end of the year, is because these are the last nine months that we all have to influence each other. We may graduate and never see one another again, but these days are crucial when it comes to making someone feel important, motivating someone to succeed, or making sure people know how much they mean to you. Not only that, but having the opportunity to BE motivated, MADE to feel important, or told how much you've meant to your peers. We leave this place not so much with four years of math, or four years of english, but with four years of character, lessons learned, and struggles overcome. Four years of practice for bigger things to come.
So this year, SENIORS, be that person you want to be. Leave your mark. Make a difference. Make each second count. Because a year from now, we'll have to rely on that person we have become to carry us into the real world. The best of luck to you all, and most importantly, ENJOY IT!
Sunday, August 21, 2005
i tend to return things
Today, I spent $83 on two pairs of pants. Good lord. I felt bad about it as I forked over the money to pay for them and later decided that one of the pairs could be returned. But no. Surprise! The store didn't DO returns. Exchanges, yes. But returns, no. It's punishment, I tell you. Punishment for becoming too materialistic and caring too much about how well my pants fit me.
Now, I'm not one to spend money on clothes. If you know me, you're familiar with the fact that I puffy paint quotes on my shirts and also decorate my own shoes. Cheap stuff. But now, I seem to be caving into the mentality that is allowing me to even buy something that expensive in the first place. Oh, no. Please help me. I will NOT become one of them. Thank goodness for the punishment.
Now, I'm not one to spend money on clothes. If you know me, you're familiar with the fact that I puffy paint quotes on my shirts and also decorate my own shoes. Cheap stuff. But now, I seem to be caving into the mentality that is allowing me to even buy something that expensive in the first place. Oh, no. Please help me. I will NOT become one of them. Thank goodness for the punishment.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
just have to write
It's just that feeling.
That something is missing, or something is wrong, or that there's something to be sad about. That feeling that makes you sort of lonely for no good reason and sort of thoughtful even though you aren't sure what you're supposed to be thinking about. The feeling that brings you back to all the things you have been forgetting to be upset about, or the problems you have been neglecting to solve.
At first I think that I dislike this feeling, but then again, maybe it's necessary. Maybe it will lead to something bigger and more important than the nothingness I see now.
Yes. Maybe it's necessary.
That something is missing, or something is wrong, or that there's something to be sad about. That feeling that makes you sort of lonely for no good reason and sort of thoughtful even though you aren't sure what you're supposed to be thinking about. The feeling that brings you back to all the things you have been forgetting to be upset about, or the problems you have been neglecting to solve.
At first I think that I dislike this feeling, but then again, maybe it's necessary. Maybe it will lead to something bigger and more important than the nothingness I see now.
Yes. Maybe it's necessary.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
for the sake of education
Drake. Beautiful. Perfect. LOVED IT.
Not only did I love it, but my parents did as well. A year from right now, I could be preparing to move 7 hours away. As much as I want to pursue the best education possible, the distance scares the hell out of me. The cost isn't too comforting, either.
Is it worth it? Probably. Am I brave enough? I can only hope so.
Not only did I love it, but my parents did as well. A year from right now, I could be preparing to move 7 hours away. As much as I want to pursue the best education possible, the distance scares the hell out of me. The cost isn't too comforting, either.
Is it worth it? Probably. Am I brave enough? I can only hope so.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
let it burn
Has anyone ever watched their house burn down? I sure hope not. But think of this in a very much not-literal sort of way.
So it's the middle of the night, and you are standing across the street from your house, watching it go up in flames. You know that in it are pictures, journals, and many other things that can't ever be replaced. There are also books and CDs, clothing, and other things that will be able to be replaced, but won't ever be exactly the same. As you are watching this and thinking of everything you're losing, you look around you, and see that your family has made it out of the fire safely. The most important things have been preserved, and even though some are gone forever and some will never be the same, you can find the strength to move on and start over. You can't replace what you know as home, because that is something that you'll always carry with you.
There are some things I just have to write down. And the secret message in that, is one of them.
Birthday was great, by the way. Fun was had and important things were taken care of. Sounds like a good deal to me.
So it's the middle of the night, and you are standing across the street from your house, watching it go up in flames. You know that in it are pictures, journals, and many other things that can't ever be replaced. There are also books and CDs, clothing, and other things that will be able to be replaced, but won't ever be exactly the same. As you are watching this and thinking of everything you're losing, you look around you, and see that your family has made it out of the fire safely. The most important things have been preserved, and even though some are gone forever and some will never be the same, you can find the strength to move on and start over. You can't replace what you know as home, because that is something that you'll always carry with you.
There are some things I just have to write down. And the secret message in that, is one of them.
Birthday was great, by the way. Fun was had and important things were taken care of. Sounds like a good deal to me.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
making this quick
The next time I write, I will be 18. I don't believe it quite yet, but time has flown and good and bad have been experienced and the adult that has been created, if I do say so myself, really isn't too bad. I am informed enough to vote, responsible enough to sign my own medical forms, and mature enough to apply my knowledge of the world so far to the world I will start to create on my own.
I love birthdays. Birthdays are days to make memories. Days to live like you really are special, even if some other days you don't believe it. Hopefully after milestones like these, the kind of special that lasts.
Each year I wish for the best year ever. Sort of blows the whole secret wish situation, I know. But really, who doesn't want that? This year, I'll blow out those eighteen candles, and wish for the same thing all over again. Because I just have this feeling.
And it's not a bad one, either. ;)
I love birthdays. Birthdays are days to make memories. Days to live like you really are special, even if some other days you don't believe it. Hopefully after milestones like these, the kind of special that lasts.
Each year I wish for the best year ever. Sort of blows the whole secret wish situation, I know. But really, who doesn't want that? This year, I'll blow out those eighteen candles, and wish for the same thing all over again. Because I just have this feeling.
And it's not a bad one, either. ;)
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