Saturday, November 19, 2005
two things
Number one:
I just spent 180 bucks on a dress to wear to impress absolutely no one. It's gorgeous and I love it but I will get dressed up and get my hair done, and then I will watch all of my friends as their dates arrive to pick them up and tell them how pretty they look. What a fucking waste of money. Now I have to go, because I have this fabulous dress, but what's the point? I have said all I have had to say, and cried all these stupid tears, and still this is how things turn out. For once I made an attempt to not be a push-over and it didn't even work. Fairly discouraging.
I love you a lot but I'm SAD and I DON'T UNDERSTAND...and I'm writing about it on my blog. How pathetic.
Number two:
I keep thinking about God. I keep thinking about going to confession, which is stupid because I don't really think that confession is effective. But I feel guilty. I wish I could change things that I can't change and now somehow this thing that I've been putting out of my life is trying to creep back in. I sort of want it to, but I don't need Catholicism, I need help. I need help to stay on this track and to learn more and to not go back to some places I regret going to. I've found my "in," that person who knows this power I speak of and probably really wants to help me get to know it better. I'm glad for that. I just can't be stubborn and push it away. Thus the help.
Ay caramba. The end.
I just spent 180 bucks on a dress to wear to impress absolutely no one. It's gorgeous and I love it but I will get dressed up and get my hair done, and then I will watch all of my friends as their dates arrive to pick them up and tell them how pretty they look. What a fucking waste of money. Now I have to go, because I have this fabulous dress, but what's the point? I have said all I have had to say, and cried all these stupid tears, and still this is how things turn out. For once I made an attempt to not be a push-over and it didn't even work. Fairly discouraging.
I love you a lot but I'm SAD and I DON'T UNDERSTAND...and I'm writing about it on my blog. How pathetic.
Number two:
I keep thinking about God. I keep thinking about going to confession, which is stupid because I don't really think that confession is effective. But I feel guilty. I wish I could change things that I can't change and now somehow this thing that I've been putting out of my life is trying to creep back in. I sort of want it to, but I don't need Catholicism, I need help. I need help to stay on this track and to learn more and to not go back to some places I regret going to. I've found my "in," that person who knows this power I speak of and probably really wants to help me get to know it better. I'm glad for that. I just can't be stubborn and push it away. Thus the help.
Ay caramba. The end.
# posted by Allisoni Balloni : 4:20 PM
Comments:
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It'll impress people, definitely. For religion, well I'm a bad person to ask in the first place, but I'd just say show up to a UU service once or twice, they're fun and although I haven't been there for well over a year, I'm sure it hasn't changed. Just some advice, and have fun building a utopia.
# posted by 
: 4:02 PM
: 4:02 PM
Just keep standing up for what you believe in, be it sportsmanship or w/e. It takes a strong person sometimes to share whats on one's mind. The dance will be fun.
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# posted by : 9:05 PM
: 9:05 PMSubscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
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