More Koolaid, Please

I haven't seen the entire DVD of the old East yet, but I'm working on it. So far, just the extras have been amazing. I commend all you brave souls, for I was never able to see any of that myself.

I'm really overwhelmed. It's been a good week, and things have gone well for the most part, but tonight I'm just, well, overwhelmed.

First of all, Mr. Hansen. I don't really have to say much else. The sadness hits me fairly often lately, for whatever reason. Probably because I used to talk to Senora K ALL the time, and now I haven't been in there for a while. I feel so terrible about it, but I just don't know what to say, or how to start. I miss her so much, but I can't nonchalantly ask her how she is, or how life's treating her. She isn't the same, but neither is anyone else, and it still isn't fair.

I got all of my information for Badger Girls State today, and I have to sign a pledge saying that I will salute the flag. It's not that I don't respect the flag. However, I have a difficult time saying the pledge of alliegence, because although I love living here and having the freedoms that I do, I am embarrassed about many things that the American flag has recently come to stand for. It stands for greed and ignorance and false pacification. I don't want to stand for those things, too. I know that many people disagree, but it's adding to the whole state of being overwhelmed.

My uncle Mike (Dad's brother) has cancer. When I was one, my dad's other brother, Chris, had cancer as well, and didn't survive it. That makes me very sad for my uncle, and very scared for my daddy. I've already said too much about that, and there isn't anything else.

Lastly, I'm really angry. I can't elaborate.

I don't know where to go, or what to do with all this, so I'm going to sit here for a bit. That's the safest.